When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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