What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Are you a tree

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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