how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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