How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Cameron is a r e t a r d

thumb_up thumb_down -11

25

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops