What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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This statement is false.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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What are we then hypocrites?

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Cool Brian

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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