What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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hextech crafting too opieop

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops