What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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