Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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What color is red paint? Red

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops