Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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The Barackness Monster

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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"33"

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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