What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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68

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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if you read this you are gay

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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