I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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So you there Red?

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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How are you this morning?

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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