How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops