Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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