What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

look under under where under under where. under the couch

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

The EPA.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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