What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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The EPA.

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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