What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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i have to pee out my ass.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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How high is a Chinaman

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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