What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

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hi bye

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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everybody loves raymond

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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more chocolate?

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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