Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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