4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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your mother

What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

knock knock whos there open the door and find out

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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