Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

Like this joke, bitch.

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

A seal walks into a club.

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

This is Heading 1

why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.