I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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