when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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WEED!

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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