What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

Are you a tree

A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

Knock, Knock ...

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...