What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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