Type better antijokes above

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Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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anti-joke.com

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What's an Anti Joke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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penis

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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