When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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call of duty world at war

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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68

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops