Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

call of duty world at war

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

Men's Rights

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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