Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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I'm hungry.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops