What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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PATHETIC

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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boobs

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Fat people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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