Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Har har hey

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Sonic

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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How are you this morning?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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