Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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