A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

Of course, first door on your left

Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

Knock knock Get off my porch.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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