Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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He walked in a bar

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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the holocaust

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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