I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

Miley Cyrus.

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

What's brown and sticky? a stick

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

So you there Red?

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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