What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +190

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

thumb_up thumb_down +56

385

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How are you this morning?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops