You

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops