A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf uitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eugfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefniergfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fegfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'agfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtogfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubogfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8ggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cefnierlrngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubonggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8hgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o8ggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5sgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cyr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,crhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,ctv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cngtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,congtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cjyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cbnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,ctkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cfnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,clrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[eu'abnrhlfhbcrupkgmgb[urh,ig,jc[itj,gijg,ip,gjijptubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,ceu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,csyr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc8gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df97gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[ogfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eugfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cf n,ebrfolcm43-hr4m[uohm=8o'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c3qugj],gjpcjr,c

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -192

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

thumb_up thumb_down +169

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops