What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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You

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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Yes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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