Men's Rights

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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1,984

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Are you a tree? No.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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banana

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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