you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -10

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -38

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -52

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops