A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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