my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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Lil' Wayne

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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