What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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Religion.

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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learn the ropes?

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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