When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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whats 2+2? math.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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The WNBA

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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