what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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This is not a joke

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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