A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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385

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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