Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

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Bumsniffer

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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