whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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