Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Pineapple.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Jinoo walks into a club it's not a club anymore it's a slaying factory

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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