But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Please Rape William Wright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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