Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops