hey

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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civil rights

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops