How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Are you a tree? No.

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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